Considerations

Vicky Ward does not get it:

Accord­ing to the new issue of men’s mag­a­zine Details, such men should be aware that women increas­ingly don’t buy the “I’ve just never found the right woman” line from any man over 35.

In fact, women have a new term for these men: they are not play­boys, they are “male spin­sters” — a moniker that implies at best that these men have “issues” and at worst that they are sociopaths.

Since read­ing this, I’ve lis­tened to my sin­gle male friends with new inter­est. I’ve noticed that before you’ve even ordered the appe­tiser they always bring up their love lives — and when they do, their con­ver­sa­tion is comic and pitiable.

I just had this same con­ver­sa­tion with friends last night, and I have had this con­ver­sa­tion with many male friends on two con­ti­nents many times in the past. Lis­ten up, women – here is what men really say to each other:

When I look at my extended fam­ily, my friends, and fam­i­lies of friends, nearly every­one is divorced or in an unhappy mar­riage. If he is divorced, he has likely lost his home and half of his assets, and he only gets to see his chil­dren once a week at most. If he is in an unhappy mar­riage, he has to deal with a wife who wants to have sex less and less often or who con­stantly nags him to death.

So, here is what men think: How, exactly, is mar­riage worth­while for men — espe­cially when a man is more likely to attract young, beau­ti­ful women when he is older and more finan­cially stable?

Mar­riage seems to be a good idea only if a man can find a woman who is one of the good ones, but it seems increas­ingly hard to find a girl who is not crazy, not a slut, not look­ing for a pile of money, not a nag, or not obsessed with super­fi­cial details. (For exam­ple, I have had women tell me, in blunt honesty, that I was a few inches shorter than their pre­ferred height or that my eyes were not sexy enough for them.)

I sus­pect that women under­stand how guys think — and it scares them to death. (Women need men more than men need women.) So peo­ple like Ward write silly blog posts like this to try to con­vince them­selves that it is the men who are wrong. But they know we are right.

Ear­lier: My prior essay on the mod­ern dat­ing scene. Related: Liv­ing in Guy­land.

Related posts:

1. The Misandry Bubble
2. Is There a Gen­der Gap in Wages?
3. Bul­ly­ing Women
4. Men and Marriage
5. Psy­cho­log­i­cal Vio­lence: A Response