The New York Times Magazine has an interesting article on what excites women sexually:
Yet while Meana minimized the role of relationships in stoking desire, she didn’t dispense with the sexual relevance, for women, of being cared for and protected. “What women want is a real dilemma,” she said. Earlier, she showed me, as a joke, a photograph of two control panels, one representing the workings of male desire, the second, female, the first with only a simple on-off switch, the second with countless knobs. “Women want to be thrown up against a wall but not truly endangered. Women want a caveman and caring. If I had to pick an actor who embodies all the qualities, all the contradictions, it would be Denzel Washington. He communicates that kind of power and that he is a good man.
As I wrote in a prior post, men frequently do not understand what women want when it comes to “nice guys”:
There are three levels of men:
The Perfect Guy
The “Asshole”
The “Nice,” Wimpy Guy
Men and women generally have different definitions of the word “nice.” Men think it is someone who treats women well. Women, however, think it is a wimp who has no confidence. It is impossible to overstate the importance of confidence: As a result of evolutionary psychology dating back to the time when humans were cavemen, women generally desire a strong, confident, capable man whom they know will protect and take care of them, should the need ever arise. The “nice guy” lacks these qualities even though he treats women well. The “asshole” has these qualities even though he treats women poorly. The “perfect guy” — fairly rare, in my opinion – is a confident, assertive guy who also treats women well. This is why women generally choose “asshole” over “nice guys” — but they will drop assholes for people in the highest category. Guys should strive to be in the first level.
Now, when we compare this to the excerpt from the New York Times story, we can fit the pieces together. Women “want to be thrown up against a wall but not truly endangered” — this refers to a confident man who can be agressive and dominant when needed. So-called beta males typically call these so-called alpha males “assholes.” However, women also do not want a “caveman” who only treats women like jerks. Ideally, girls want a perfect combination of a confident guy and a nice guy. But it is worse to be a nice guy who lacks confidence than a confident guy who is not nice. This is the real situation that men face when they complain that “only assholes get the girls.”
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