The New York Times reports on something that is probably politically incorrect to say:
Just the mention of women treating other women badly on the job seemingly shakes the women’s movement to its core. It is what Peggy Klaus, an executive coach in Berkeley, Calif., has called “the pink elephant” in the room. How can women break through the glass ceiling if they are ducking verbal blows from other women in cubicles, hallways and conference rooms?
Women don’t like to talk about it because it is “so antithetical to the way that we are supposed to behave to other women,” Ms. Klaus said. “We are supposed to be the nurturers and the supporters.”
Ask women about run-ins with other women at work and some will point out that people of both sexes can misbehave. Others will nod in instant recognition and recount examples of how women — more so than men — have mistreated them.
Women are much more competitive with each other than men. From high school through college until now, I have always observed the ways that men and women deal with conflict. If two men have a fight — whether physical or not — they remain angry for a short time, but then they usually get over it. In terms of evolutionary psychology, men revert to their place in the pecking order and generally live in peace.
Women, however, seem to be in a constant state of conflict with each other. When two women get into a fight, they usually remain enemies for a long time — if not forever. This is evident to anyone who has observed a group of female friends. It even extends into popular culture through movies like “Mean Girls.” In contrast to men, women are constantly battling with each other over men, status, and their place in the societal pecking order. How many boyfriends have had their girlfriends ask: “Do you think she is prettier than me?” or “Which one of my friends do you think is cutest?”
All of this stems from the fact that women — for various biological, emotional, and social reasons — are generally more insecure than men. They live in constant fear about what other women think of them. As one female friend once told me, women dress up to impress other women more often than men. But, unfortunately, all of this bullying can make the workplace seem just like high school.
Tags:
