My situation is like Love’s. I’m in my 20’s, almost 30’s, and I have been looking for a guy who wants a stable relationship and to settle down. Like Love, most women seem to not want to settle down but to “just have fun”. So most men think all women want casual sex. I’m glad feminism made waves in some areas but in this area, I feel like I’m one of the casualties in a war I didn’t even have a say in.

Perhaps the women above are apart of this generation’s “vocal minority” in rejecting the domestic life while women like me and my friends who desire more stability and gender roles are silenced due to having the non-vocal unpopular ideals.

A sad state of affairs indeed.

You are delusional and need to actually sit and have a conversation with a woman who doesn’t want children.

I do not mean this in an offensive way; I am just stating a fact. You are a statistical outlier. The vast majority of women, if not 98 percent of women, want to get married and have children. This is the audience to whom I am writing.

Women like me in my 20s want to get married but the men seem to want to just sleep around. I’ m not that type of girl. So if I’m single in my 30’s I honestly doubt that is my fault.

I sympathize with your plight. It is indeed not your fault; it is the fault of the majority of women your age who have a lot of casual sex, thereby raising male expectations of easy sex and removing any incentive to get married, or at least serious.

If women decided en masse tomorrow that they would have sex only when in committed relationships (at the least), the dating world would change rapidly — and for the better.

Sadly, I doubt that will happen.

Painful stuff.

And so, with a significant amount of neo-feminist resentment at the underwhelming spoils of their movement, many women are relegated to denial, to historical revisionism, and to the notion that the path they have chosen has proved the right one. And in this respect, they are to be pitied, not attacked. Were men in the same positon, they’d do no better.

However, I would hope that marriage would be based on something a little more meaningful than that.

Marriage should indeed be based on something more than looks. But, in the modern, Western world, dating comes before marriage. And, noting human nature, two people must be attracted to each other before dating can progress or even begin. The practical reality is that as a woman’s looks fade, fewer men will find her attractive. Most men, we must admit, have at least a degree of superficiality.

If the pre-feminist world you think we should return to reduces females’ value to nothing more than wilting physical beauty, then please take me off the sign-up sheet.

The pre-feminist world, at least hundreds of years, ago did think that. Today, however, the pendulum has swung to the other extreme. The politically-correct opinion is that there are no inherent differences between the genders. This is absurd, particularly in regards to the dating world. There needs to be a middle ground.

Really, it’s horrific to think that, according to you, women have no value on this Earth after their physical beauty fades.

I have said nothing of the sort. I am making observations of the modern, Western dating world. As I have explained elsewhere, one of the unintended consequences of feminism was to turn more men into immature pigs who view women only as pieces of meat. This is horrible.

In this post, I am addressing only these matters only in the specific context of dating, not in the world in general. In the dating world, there are certain realities that women ignore at their own peril.

I live in Las Vegas and I more than understand the emphasis on good looks. However, I would hope that marriage would be based on something a little more meaningful than that. If the pre-feminist world you think we should return to reduces females’ value to nothing more than wilting physical beauty, then please take me off the sign-up sheet. Really, it’s horrific to think that, according to you, women have no value on this Earth after their physical beauty fades. I would imagine that one reason feminisim was created to give women something more than their looks to live for.

This is a full, detailed explanation of my reasoning.

I am so sick of people telling me I am wrong or abnormal or selfish because I AM NOT DYING TO HAVE A BABY and I am 30.

My point was to criticize women who intentionally delay serious relationships and marriage and merely “hook-up” and have lots of meaningless sex. Obviously, you chose to get married at relatively young age (for the Western world now), and I applaud that. Children is another matter.

I am also offended that you seem to think women start to lose their looks when they hit 30, but that when men hit 30 they just become more marketable.

I know plenty of good looking 30 something women, and plenty of 30 something balding, pudgy men with man boobs. This doesn’t even take into account men who like cougars, women who are cougars, or women who like to date older men.

The cougars and their prey are actually fewer in number than the media would have people believe.

I have seen countless girls, some as young as eighteen, flock to thirty-something guys. Men that age have established careers, a greater sense of worldliness and self-confidence, and more material resources. Much fewer twenty-something guys will date thirty-something women. Again, it is unfortunate — but I am just stating the reality in the dating market.

What feminism has given women is the OPTION to delay marriage and/or babies and to be more than just a wife and/or mother.

Of course it has. I am just not convinced that the newly-existent Option B is good, in general, for women individually and society as a whole. To write things like “just a wife and/or mother” is demeaning to mothers.

Being a mother is the most important job that a woman can have. In terms of what is good society, the world needs as many good mothers as possible — not more female CEOs and middle managers. It is hard to be both well since time is a zero-sum entity. There are only so many hours in a day.

I find it odd that you are judging others for their choices (however they end up), but expect people to accept your choices and beliefs. The choices you have made in the last few years to convert to Judaism and move to Israel away from family and friends were not typical choices to be made, and when others did not instantly support or understand your decisions you called them closed minded.

I do not recall anyone not supporting or understanding my decisions. Of course, people wondered why I had decided to move here, but I do not remember anyone raising serious issues. Especially, I do not recall saying that anyone “close-minded.” I recognized the concerns.

Yet now I feel you are closed minded about some women’s intentional choice to not marry or have kids right away (as I have chosen with the latter).

My point is more that the alternative to marrying is self-destructive: namely, the worlds that I have seen in which men and women do nothing but get drunk and hook-up with random people all the time. The longer that people intentionally live this lifestyle without getting serious, the more damage they are doing to themselves emotionally, spiritually, and perhaps even physically through STDs.

You have also previously criticized women for not wanting to date men who weren’t perfect, but seem to now think it is normal and acceptable for men to only want 20 something perfect specimens. I find it hypocritical that you would dare to judge others and yet reject their judgment of yourself.

I never said it was acceptable or normal for thirty-something guys to date much-younger women. I am merely stating my observations of the dating world. I think older men who always want to be playboys and chase after young girls are equally misguided.