Maureen Dowd gives some insight into why modern, Western women are now so unhappy:
According to the General Social Survey, which has tracked Americans’ mood since 1972, and five other major studies around the world, women are getting gloomier and men are getting happier…
“Though women begin their lives more fulfilled than men, as they age, they gradually become less happy,” Buckingham writes in his new blog on The Huffington Post, pointing out that this darker view covers feelings about marriage, money and material goods. “Men, in contrast, get happier as they get older…”
When women stepped into male– dominated realms, they put more demands — and stress — on themselves. If they once judged themselves on looks, kids, hubbies, gardens and dinner parties, now they judge themselves on looks, kids, hubbies, gardens, dinner parties — and grad school, work, office deadlines and meshing a two-career marriage…
Another daunting thing: America is more youth and looks obsessed than ever, with an array of expensive cosmetic procedures that allow women to be their own Frankenstein Barbies.
Men can age in an attractive way while women are expected to replicate — and Restylane — their 20s into their 60s.
Buckingham says that greater prosperity has made men happier. And they are also relieved of bearing sole responsibility for their family finances, and no longer have the pressure of having women totally dependent on them.
Men also tend to fare better romantically as time wears on. There are more widows than widowers, and men have an easier time getting younger mates.
Where to begin? Take this comment: “When women stepped into male– dominated realms, they put more demands — and stress — on themselves. If they once judged themselves on looks, kids, hubbies, gardens and dinner parties, now they judge themselves on looks, kids, hubbies, gardens, dinner parties — and grad school, work, office deadlines and meshing a two-career marriage.”
Corporations have many benefits and drawbacks, but one thing is always true of well-run companies: They are efficient. Running a household is akin to running a small business. All firms have a head of marketing, a head of sales, and a head of finance, among other areas, with a CEO to oversee all of them. Each individual person, unless the chief executive overrules him, has the final say in his particular area.
Now, imagine if the group of three people in my example each had a say in marketing, sales, and finance. It would be anarchy! The group would constantly argue over which way to proceed. In a nutshell, such a company would be less efficient — and it would probably go bankrupt. A division of labor is important. By having each person be an expert in his given field, the business can make the best decisions — and make them quickly.
In traditional households decades (or longer) ago, the husband typically brought in the resources through work, and the wife ran the household. All positive and negative arguments aside, it was an efficient way to divide a limited amount of available labor. Moreover, men were typically experts in business (how many women could read a profit-and-loss statement from a Fortune 500 company?) and women knew how to manage a home and raise children (how many men could create a healthy, balanced meal for four people in thirty minutes or less?).
However, feminism changed everything. Now, no division of labor exists (and there are too many great expectations in dating, especially in online dating-services, online-dating websites, and friend-finder dating). Both men and women partake in work and home, and the result is that the operation is less efficient and more stressful. Most importantly, this change in workload has affected women much more than men.
Men have a lesser burden while women have a greater one. I am not sure if women understand how much stress men carried decades ago when the entire survival of their families depended on their success at work. Men are now under less pressure because their wives are bringing in resources as well. However, women are now under more pressure because they have to factor in the added stress of having a job into their natural, innate desire to be chiefly responsible for the household and children as well.
Now, this comment: “America is more youth and looks obsessed than ever, with an array of expensive cosmetic procedures that allow women to be their own Frankenstein Barbies.”
This is a real problem, and I sympathize. As the Western world has become more secular, people have forgotten what is truly important. If anyone — a man or a woman — bases his self-esteem on his appearance, he is destined to become less happy as the years pass.
Now, this one: “Men can age in an attractive way while women are expected to replicate — and Restylane — their 20s into their 60s.”
This is correct, and there is no way to combat thousands of years of evolutionary psychology. However, this observation is nowhere near as important as younger women think. As Dr. Louann Brizendine notes in her groundbreaking book “The Female Brain,” most divorces in middle age are initiated by women rather than men. Women, do not worry: Men are not very likely to dump you and purchase a so-called newer model. It is a myth. Once men reach a certain age, most of them desire comfort and stability — after all, they successfully hunted and captured they prey, and now they want to enjoy it without too much more stress. Middle-aged women, in fact, are much more likely to focus on themselves and their needs by starting anew through divorce after years spent sacrificing their needs for those of their families.
Now, the final comment: “Men also tend to fare better romantically as time wears on. There are more widows than widowers, and men have an easier time getting younger mates.”
This comment needs to be directed towards educated, successful, older women in their thirties and forties who are still single — and now unhappy — because they intentionally put off relationships and marriage while pursuing degrees and careers.
Roughly before the age of thirty, women have the advantage in the dating world because they are at the height of their attractiveness while men have yet to be successful in their careers. (This is unfortunate, but true — at least in dating circles, usually in the secular world, that prize appearance and money above all else.) But the tables turn quickly after that age. Men can become more attractive once they obtain resources, but women have already started to lose their looks. It is no wonder that this segment of the female population is unhappy as well. As game theory dictates, it is better for a women to choose a quality guy while she is young.
There are many other reasons for the disparity in happiness between modern men and women in the West, but I will refer readers to my lengthy essay rather than repeat myself here.
Elsewhere: Vox Day offers his thoughts.
