A female medical student writes to Salon to ask for advice on her boyfriend:
Now I have met someone who is just everything that I felt was missing in my last relationships. I find him very attractive; we laugh all the time about stupid things and serious things. We have traveled together and every day is fun. Even when we argue we are able to see eye to eye at the end. He adores me and treats me good. But he doesn't have an education, nor is he on the path to obtaining one. He has drive, but he is seriously lacking the follow-through aspect. He talks very big about his future, but he is happy with the present. He has a high school education and has a very secure government job that earns him enough. There is no impetus for change. I have discussed several times about him going back to university or getting a trades course, just anything to improve his current situation. He shows interest, but more so at my insistence.
I am attractive and outgoing and I have dated at least a dozen (serious/not serious), if not two dozen, to find this guy whom I really like, but it really bothers me that he is letting his life slip by without even trying. It bothers me that he has been gifted with health, and a sound mind, a good supportive family, and he doesn't want to make the best of it. It bothers me that there are people in less fortunate circumstances who are doing 10 times the work to get ahead in life, and meanwhile he is not even trying. Although it may seem like I am high and mighty and judging those without a university education, I am not. My parents do not have it, and I love them to pieces. I think that it was seeing them go through the struggles of having no education and immigrating to a new country that made me realize what amazing opportunities North America offers if you just try. I believe that we only live this life once, so why not give it all you've got.
As I wrote in a lengthy essay, women are finding the dating scene more difficult as they become more educated and successful in modern times. Women tend to date "up" as a result of evolutionary psychology. (Not all, but most.) As a woman gains advanced degrees and high-level jobs, the portion of men in the dating pool whom she will consider as mates will decline. (How many female CEOs will date plumbers?) This is modern why women are both increasingly successful yet more stressed as far as their relationships are going. The woman who wrote this letter to Salon is no different.
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