For those who are interested or curious, I just read a good article on dating in Orthodox Judaism -- shomer negiah and all.
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I enjoyed this article, and it made me think of my 30 something friends who are also struggling to find relationships. I’ve always considered myself lucky to have found someone in college, as I still don’t know how to meet someone outside of that standard dating pool. Having advised on many relationship issues over the years, I can see how limiting contact can potentially help people make clearer choices on a spouse. As difficult as it was to spend all but 9 months in a different city than Dan when we were dating, it also helped us actually communicate and not rely on the physical aspect only. I do find it interesting to note that there are a number of men who don’t want “fat girls”, as this seems to go against the idea of building a loving connection over time. Thoughts? Jen(Quote)
Jen, I wish I could offer some better insight, but I think the comment speaks for itself.
Men, regardless of their secular or religious persuasion, are very focused on looks. No matter how a man might feel “connected” to a woman logically, her appearance will, unfortunately, always remain an important factor.
I suppose the same is true for women. Say that a woman felt a logical connection to a man but that he was destined to remain, for example, a janitor. No matter how nice and intelligent he might be, few women are going to like him.
I hate to reduce things to evolutionary psychology, but I really think those theories come into play. No matter how much we’d like to think otherwise, we are trained subconsciously to look for mates that have certain characteristics. And those attributes are different for men and women. Sam Scott(Quote)